Making Porn

I’ve been neglecting my blog again, but I have a good excuse.

For the past couple of months I’ve been making porn. Mostly at night and on the weekends. The house was a mess for weeks, the garage was even worse. I’d spend hours at it only to get up early the next day and do it all again.

I’m kinda tired, but when most people see what I’ve been doing they say things like “Wow, that must have been a lot of work” and  “Looks like it was hard” and “Your wife must be really happy”.

They’re right. Making porn is hard, yet very satisfying at the same time. I now recommend that everyone try it at some point.  I’m pretty proud, so proud in fact that I’m going to send some pictures to this internet site I found awhile back. But before I do I thought I would first share my creation with all of you, right here on my blog.

Sorry, no video, you’ll just have to use your imagination.

Oh, and its not what you think.

This is the dining alcove in the house my wife and I bought last year. We never used the one in the last house and didn’t see any reason to use this one either. We live in Florida and people in Florida customarily eat outside. Since we have a giant table outside not far from a 65′ TV and a view of the water and sunset, we were pretty sure the alcove would go to waste.

So I hatched some other plans.

I’m a writer. I need a place to write. I’m also a serious reader, one with a large library I’ve been building since high school. I’ve also recently inherited a great collection from my uncle, effectively doubling the number of books that needed a home.

This obviously wasn’t going to cut it. The carpet had to go. And that desk was way too small. She wanted a window seat.

Did I ever mention that I’m pretty good with my hands? I also have an awesome set of tools.

So….

Anybody can build regular straight horizontal shelves. I wanted something diffirent.

Ever play Tetris?

Each peice underwent a thorough inspection.

Nothing beats the smell of oil-based primer in the morning. BTW, “low-fume mineral spirits” are an oxymoron.

Might sound racist, but that is just too white.

We have a piece of abstract art that has some good colors in it, so we pulled them right off the painting at the store with their fancy scanner, mached them up and went back to work. That’s my 9-year old son Cody holding down that ladder and providing some scale.

The fun part? Two coats per box.

Did away with the old chandeler and installed a duel fan with remote.

Couldn’t just do the alcove without doing the rest of the room as well so new paint all around as well as new carpet, chair, crown and base moulding. The crown molding may have to wait awhile. As I said earlier, I’m kinda tired.

 

And finally; books.

That’s Bella, our Great Dane. She slept through the majority of the project.

A side-by-side, before and after.

 

And that my friends is how you make book shelf porn. If you’d like to see some more check out the official website, who I will be mailing this off to shortly.

Thought I was kidding there for a minute didnt you?

BTW, you may have noticed that there was some room left for more books. I guess I better get to writing some.