Randall Wood

A few things you shouldn’t ask me to do….


                                                                                                                                                Via: Flickr

Somebody remarked that they liked my “25 things about me” post, then they suggested that I write a list of things I don’t like, but that sounded too depressing, so I came up with something else;

A few things you shouldn’t ask me to do….

1-Feed your goldfish. This is the same as asking me to kill your goldfish. More like involuntary fish slaughter, but the fish is still dead either way.

2-Hang drywall. I can do it. Actually, I’m not bad at it. But more than happy to pay someone to do this for me.

3-Go hunting. I spent too many years “in the woods” with a rifle. The thrill of bagging Bambi’s daddy pales next to the possibility opportunity guarantee of getting shot at by an idiot hunter. Been shot at enough, thank you.

4-Watch baseball. While I do admire the athletic skill of the players, the game moves at the speed of smell. If they ever give the pitcher a time limit let me know, I’m there.

5-Wear a tie.

6-Eat Brussels sprouts. I don’t care if you wrap them in bacon, I classify them as little balls of evil.

7-Work on a transmission. If you disassemble a transmission you will find that it has the same number of parts as a space shuttle.

8-Watch anything that has Kardashian in the title.

9-Clean fish.

10-Drive more than three hours with children in the car, unless they are sleeping, or drugged, or drugged and sleeping.

11-Go without coffee. I really don’t like to, and you don’t want me too either.

12-Spell something for you. Yes, I write books, doesn’t mean I can spell.

13-Go to Walmart.


15-Not write. Wanna meet Randall McCrankypants? Quick way to do so.

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